This morning, British gang "Da Gurli Men," consisting of the Gurli brothers, released their new classical album entitled "U R Gona B Dead". The record company that they were working with almost didn't accept the title, but the owner of the label says they threatened him by claiming "If U Dun Release Us We Will Make U Dead."
The group has had about $22 in sales since this morning, which is over 1.5 million records. They started to wonder why they were making more money selling fake drugs ("plaster crack") than selling 1.5 million albums. Their manager, J.D. Snoop Brotha Homie 75 Cent G, told us that since he uses an "Apple CrappingtonBook," a decimal point and about 4 zeroes were added in before the retail price. Apple denies that it was their fault, and say that he was probably drunk when he made this "error". Apple is suing J.D. Snoop Brotha for publically insulting their CrappingtonBook line, and is also renaming the line of computers to iSuck.

This article was submitted by Bush, we swear. Yeah, we know it sucks. We expected it.
*runs*